Joyful Jaune
by JC of the Corn
Summary: So I was a bit drunk when I came up with this idea, but Cardin rats Jaune out after the ursa incident, with nowhere else to go, and a dream in hand, Jaune needs to find a job to keep him stable, but what happens when that job...was nothing like he expected?
1. Kicked out

**So I got bored, and I was reading all these 'Jaune gets kicked out of Beacon' stories, and most of them were all serious or sad, and I figured, what if I did something a little more lighthearted and fun, at that moment, Magic Mike XXL came on. And I figured...I can make this work.**

 **Anyways, so this was just me dicking around. There's not much, but hopefully I can make this a fun fic.**

* * *

"I'm really sorry this happened Jaune…" Pyrrha said as his friends were watching him pack up.

"No, its okay….I knew the risk before coming here." Jaune said as he looked at Crocea Mors before putting it in his bag.

Who would have thought Cardin would have still turned him in after he saved his life? Well, he guessed it was too much to ask for him to have one shred of humility. But then again, Jaune did cheat his way into Beacon, so maybe in a way this was his comeuppance. Most of them were sad to see him go, but Weiss had a look of indifference on her face.

"Who am I going to pick on now Vomit boy?" Yang asked, while she was still mad that Jaune had cheated his way in, the air sick teen had a way of growing on you.

"You'll find another sickly scraggly blonde." He said as Ruby hugged him.

"I don't want you to go!" She said as he chuckled.

"Hey, I'll keep in touch, just because I'm leaving doesn't mean we can't all keep in touch." He said as they nodded.

"Look, I got your scroll numbers, its alright, I'll call you up sometime and we'll go and do something together." He said as that helped ease Ruby's worries.

"Who's gonna challenge me to a pancake eating contest now?!" Nora yelled out as Jaune had to resist the urge to laugh.

"Nora, you only keep doing that because you find it hilarious to see me on the floor in pain from an over engorged stomach." Nora had the decency to look sheepish.

"Heh heh, true, so what are you going to do?" Nora asked as everyone looked at him.

"Well, I can't go back home, my family isn't answering the phone…." That got everyone worried.

"Oh no no no! They didn't disown me or anything, it's just….well….it's probably time for their yearly vacation." He knew they usually had a family vacation each year, they went to an island for two weeks, and they had probably already started it, which meant they couldn't get a signal.

"So, what are you going to do then?" Pyrrha was a little worried.

"I'll rent a room in Vale, until then I'll find a job, besides, I'm sure I can find work somewhere." He said as he gave Pyrrha a hug.

He took one last look around the place before he sighed and pulled away.

"Look, I'm sorry for what I said on the roof that night, and if I had the chance to do it all again, I would have taken your offer, but hey, just because I'm leaving doesn't mean we still can't be friends, right?" That was kind of a stab to her heart.

"Yeah…friends…" She said even though a blind man could see she wanted a little something more.

"Well, I'm off." He said as he hefted his bag over his shoulder.

"Weiss, for what it's worth, sorry for bugging you so often." He said as he walked out of the door.

Who knows? Maybe some great adventure awaited him! Maybe he would do something great! Maybe he would be famous! Maybe he could be a CEO, maybe he could

 **ONE HOUR LATER**

"SON OF A BITCH!" How the hell was this possible?!

He managed to find a place to rent, it was a beach side hut, which was surprisingly nice, but apparently the only reason it was so cheap to rent was because the original owners had been murdered inside it, and the land lord was desperate to get someone to live there rather than destroy it. So overall, that worked out in Jaune's favor.

But then came the moment where he had to find a job, and so far he had been getting screwed over. He tried dust shops, fast food markets, grocery stores, he had pretty much tried everything, but he couldn't find a single place that was hiring. This really sucked!

"What the hell am I going to do now?" He only had enough money til the end of the week, and most of it he spent on food.

Food and rent were expensive in Vale, so he needed to find a job fast, especially since he would be staying here for a while. In reality…Jaune had never called his family, he just couldn't. They never believed that he could be a huntsman, and when he got into Beacon, they told him that 'it was okay' for him to come home if it didn't work out. To him, that was a kick in the teeth. He loved his family, but that really hurt.

And now he had been kicked out of Beacon, and he just couldn't accept the fact that it turned out exactly like his parents said it would. And he didn't want them to see him as a failure. He would go home eventually, but he was hoping it would be on his own terms.

He learned that there was another way to become a huntsman from an old drunk in town. While it was preferable to go to an academy, one could be trained outside of a school, and then pass a huntsman registration test, it was hard, but it could work. There was just one problem.

The only person willing to train him was back at Beacon, and he could really only see her on the weekends at the most. And who knows how busy her schedule was.

"Gosh, this sucks!" He said as he was currently sitting down at a café.

"Having trouble kid?" A tall man with a cowboy hat looked at him.

"Like you wouldn't imagine." Jaune didn't care that he was talking to a stranger, he was pissed.

"Oh boy, what's got you up in a twist?" The wannabe cowboy asked as he sat down at the table Jaune was sitting at.

"Unemployment." That was his answer.

"Join the club kid, in this economy its hard to find a decent job, sometimes you got to take one that isn't exactly decent, but keeps your bills paid." Mr. Stetson said as he was drinking a black coffee.

"You know anything about that?" Jaune asked trying to make conversation.

"Kid trust me, I know EVERYTHING about that." He took a sip from his coffee.

"How do you deal with it?" Jaune really needed some advice right now.

"Well, I'm working currently, but, lets just say that the job I am a part of requires a certain level of…self confidence in yourself." Mr. Stetson said as he extended a hand.

"I'm Amarillo, Amarillo Sky." Jaune shook the man's hand as he proceeded to introduce himself.

"Jaune, Jaune Arc." He said as the man smiled.

"So I think I may be able to help you with your job hunt." He said as Jaune perked up.

"That would be great! I'll take it!" Then Jaune suddenly froze.

"Wait….this isn't anything illegal is it?" He asked as Amarillo chuckled.

"No no no! Nothing like that! It's just, well….can you dance?" He asked as Jaune nodded.

"Yeah, grew up with seven sisters." That mad Amarillo's eyes bulge out of his skull.

"Seven sisters? By Oum! Do your parents hate the idea of contraception?" Amarillo couldn't believe anyone could handle that many kids.

"They do but….sometimes it doesn't work, my dad even got a vasectomy and somehow I was still made." Jaune still had no idea how that happened.

They had a DNA test, and sure enough he was his dad's son, but how the fuck did that happen? Unless those doctors screwed up the vasectomy procedure. Which honestly wouldn't be that surprising.

"Dude, that's some messed up shit." Amarillo couldn't help but laugh.

"So what is the job?" Jaune asked as Amarillo sighed.

"Well…." He started.

 **LATER AT A CLUB**

"You got be fucking kidding me!" Jaune yelled as he was currently backstage.

"Hey, I never said it would be a job you parade around." Amarillo said as he introduced Jaune to everyone.

"Okay, That's Maroon the man, that's Blue Balls over there, that's Vanilla Cream." Jaune was a bit confused by the names.

"Uhm, those aren't their real names are they?" He really would feel bad for them then.

"Oh no, those are their stage names, Well Maroon uses his real name, Blue Balls real name is Sapphire, and Vanilla's is Snow." Jaune felt a bit better at that.

"So who is the new guy?" Snow asked as Amarillo clapped Jaune on the back.

"A new recruit!" Jaune reeled back.

"Woah! I never said I wanted to be a stripper!" Jaune would never hear the end of it if his parents found out.

"You said you can't go home right?" Amarillo asked.

"Yeah…"

"And you can dance?"

"Of course…"

"And you can't find a job?"

"Unfortunately yes…."

"And you're desperate for one?"

"Okay I get it!"

Jaune didn't know what to think, he really needed the job, but could he really do this? Could he be a stripper? It honestly seemed like a bad idea. But then again, it was a lot better than being homeless. And he really did need money to help find a trainer to get him prepared for the Huntsman registration exam. So….his hands were tied.

"So, what do you think?" Sapphire said as Jaune sighed.

"Do I have to do this right away?" Jaune couldn't believe he was doing it.

"Nah Bro, tonight we'll just have you serving drinks, but tomorrow we're going to get you all dressed up, trust me the pay will be much better." Maroon tried to comfort Jaune's thoughts.

"…" Jaune was silent.

"I'm so sorry mom..."


	2. First Show

**So I had this chapter planned out already, for once I actually feel free from Writer's block, still have school to worry about. Either way, I'm surprised at the positive feedback I got from this...well, here goes nothing.**

* * *

"So what do you think Jaune is up to?" Ruby asked as Team JNPR had to deal with the loss of a member. Luckily they were doing fine, but it was a little weird not having Jaune around.

"I imagine he's probably got a job by now." Ren said as he was confident in his leader's ability.

"Yeah, don't worry so much Ruby, look, he already told us he found a place to live, and he was searching for a job, I'm certain he'll do just fine." Yang comforted her sister.

"I know, but I can't help but be worried, you get what I'm saying, don't you Pyrrha?" Ruby asked as Pyrrha was a little worried.

"I'm sure he's fine, we'll go see him when we have time, I'm sure he's going to be alright." Pyrrha smiled as she remembered what Jaune had told her.

He found out that he could still become a huntsman, but he would need help. Luckily she was available to help him train on the weekends, but during the week he would have to find something to keep him occupied until he could take the registration exam. So maybe they would end up working together again after all.

"Well, you still got his number, why don't we call him now and see whats up?" Weiss was honestly irritated with hearing about them worrying about him, so why not just call him up?

"Hey, yeah, why don't we?" Nora asked as Pyrrha got out her scroll.

"I hope we don't catch him at work." Pyrrha asked as the phone rang.

" _Hello?"_ Jaune's voice said a bit out of breath.

"Hey Jaune, we were just calling to see how you were doing." Pyrrha was glad that he picked up, but why did he seem so out of breath.

" _Oh, I'm doing good, guys thanks for…WOAH!"_ Jaune's voice went up as they heard a voice.

" _Damn dude, got yourself a big snake there!"_ Another man's voice said as Ruby was confused.

"Huh? What does he mean by Snake Jaune?" Ruby asked as Yang felt like laughing at what she just heard because it sounded dirty.

" _I'm working at the Vale Zoo! Right now I'm handling a snake!"_ He said in a bit of a panicked tone.

" _Yeah dude! Seriously how the heck do you keep that contained?"_ The other man seemed rather impressed with Jaune.

" _Will you shut up and let me talk?!"_ They heard Jaune yell at the man.

" _Wow dude, that's some way to talk to your boss."_

" _Look, I get it, but the jokes aren't helping! I'm nervous enough as it is about this job!"_ Wow, working at the zoo must have been stressful.

"Uhm, should we call back later?" Pyrrha asked as Jaune nodded.

" _Yeah sorry, I'm a bit nervous, there's so much I need to learn, and so much I don't feel comfortable doing right now."_ He knew Pyrrha had no idea what he was doing, but still, he didn't want her to think he was weird.

"Look, whatever is going on, just relax and let the people with experience tell you what to do, and who knows, maybe you won't be so nervous about handling the giant snake anymore." Jaune would have laughed at Pyrrha's advice if it wasn't for the fact that she had no idea what she was giving him advice on.

" _Er thanks, I just really wish the guys would stop teasing me about this snake."_ Even Jaune had to resist the urge to facepalm at the fact he was referring to his penis as a snake.

"What is it? Like a boa?" She asked wondering what he was handling.

" _Damn girl! No way! That's more like an Anaconda!"_ Another man's voice rang over the phone.

" _WILL YOU SHUT THE HELL UP BLUE BALLS!"_ Everyone choked a bit at that.

"W-What did you call him?" Yang asked wondering if she heard him correctly.

" _Er, sorry, I was mad and I needed an insult, sorry, Sapphire is being a dick….listen, I got to go guys, I need to get fitted for my new uniform."_ He said as Nora chuckled.

"Cool! Will you send us a picture of you wearing it Jauney?!" Nora wondered what he would look like in a new uniform.

"… _I got to go."_ He hung up the phone.

"He sounds stressed." Blake said as Weiss shrugged.

"Relax, he's probably just adjusting to his new job, for once he's doing something productive." Weiss couldn't resist a bit of snark.

She was still mad at Jaune for the flirting attempts.

 **WITH JAUNE**

"You're an asshole!" Jaune said as he slapped Sapphire upside the head.

"Ah, relax dude! They don't know what you do!" He said as Jaune was looking at the skimpy piece of underwear they gave him to wear.

It had a snake head on the front, it was really embarassing.

"Dude, you just sat there and told them I have a big dick!" Jaune would have been happy about his penis if Sapphire wasn't shouting about it to his friends! How embarassing.

"Are you really complaining about having a huge shlong?" Blue balls couldn't believe anyone wouldn't want a gigantic cock.

"No! I just don't want my friends to know about it!" He constantly got teased about it in regular school during the locker room.

He could only imagine what would happen if his female friends found out about his giant dick, they would probably think he was a freak! What kind of woman wanted a giant dick?

"Anyways, we got you hooked up with a jungle routine, hence the snake banana hammock." Sapphire motioned to his outfit.

"….Does this really make sense?" Jaune asked as Maroon raised a brow.

"What do you mean?" What was wrong with the trouser snake thong?

"Well, if we're going for a jungle theme, why not have me in a loincloth? I don't feel comfortable wearing…THIS!" Jaune said as he ripped off the banana hammock and held it up.

He may be a future stripper, but he didn't want to show off so much so soon! Let him ease into this first!

"Dude, that's brilliant! Like Tarzan! Yeah!" Amarillo said as he was getting the stage set up.

"Yeah! Good one new guy!" Snow said as they slapped his back.

"….Can I just get this over with?" Jaune really didn't feel comfortable doing this.

"Oh! By the way, we're going to have a woman pulled from the crowd tonight by some guy who looks like a poacher, and then you come and choke him out, and then you get on with your routine." Amarillo said as Jaune groaned.

"Why?"

"Make you look like a wild man! Come on, chicks love that feral side of men, they want to see the animal inside you be unleashed, gets them all tingly." Jaune had never been so embarassed in his life.

"Do I look like a viscious animal?" He asked them.

"Hey kid, you got muscle, and you got the dance moves, trust me, just watch a few of these gorilla documentaries, you can get the whole 'Tarzan of the apes' routine down pretty easily." Amarillo handed him a few tapes.

"….These are faunus porn movies…." Jaune said as Amarillo snatched those back.

"OH SHIT! Sorry those are mine, here we go." Amarillo took back his movie of 'Jane meets the Apes' and handed Jaune a Remnant Geographic dvd.

"….You're into some weird shit…" Jaune saw that it was a gangbang movie.

"…..I know….I'm not proud." Amarillo took his movie back.

"Okay kid, like we said, one of our backup dancers is going to take a woman off stage like a poacher, you come in and you fight that motherfucker off, giving her the fantasy of being saved by some wild man who is going to ravage her like no other." Amarillo reminded Jaune.

"Isn't that a bit…crude?" Everyone laughed.

"Jaune, Jaune, Jaune, Jaune, this is a male strip club, women come here for that shit, you think those housewives don't have fantasies, I guarantee you, some housewives and single women come here for the craziness of it all, they love the idea that there is a man with eyes on them who wants to completely ravage them, but its not acceptable for them to say that in public, so they come here, this club is where women go to live out their deepest, darkest fantasies, and that is where we come in, we're like blacksmiths of sexual fantasy. You got that kid?" Jaune couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"….I feel like a whore…" Now everyone shushed him at that.

"Now hold on there partner, we may be strippers, but we're not prostitutes…besides I gaurantee you, a bus load of those horny women out there, they don't want to pay to fuck you, hell after the show you might get a freebie." Jaune blushed at that.

"Uhm, I'm not really the kind for that…" He said as Maroon grinned.

"Oh I see, bat for the other team then huh?" Jaune blushed and sputtered in embarassment.

"WHAT?! NO! NO! I'm straight! I just have moral!" He tried to defend himself.

"Dude, you're about to go on stage and show a bunch of women your body, throw morals out the window man." Jaune sighed because he knew it was true.

 **A FEW HOURS LATER**

"….So who is my target?" He asked as Amarillo pointed someone out.

"That woman right there, she came in this night with friends, I guess they dragged her along, she obviously doesn't want to be here." Amarillo pointed to the woman in question.

For some reason she looked familiar, but he couldn't put his finger on it. All he knew was that she looked pissed.

"Okay…so I just got to impress her….right?" He said as he was still nervous.

"That's right big boy, wait for the poacher, and then you go in there and you show that lady who is boss, lord knows she looks like she needs a good dick." Blue Balls said as Amarillo went out on stage.

"I'm not sleeping with anyone." Jaune countered.

"Relax dude, I'm joking." Blue balls couldn't believe how easy it was to mess with Jaune.

Jaune got ready, he soaked his hair down with water, that way it was laying flatter and over his face, that way people would only see his eyes and his rugged jaw, he was praying no one from Beacon knew who he was. Because that would just lead to embarassment, and he didn't need people knowing that he worked at a strip club.

"Alright alright alright! How y'all doing tonight?" Amarillo said as everyone cheered.

"Now tonight, we have a very special treat, we got ourselves a new dancer, he's a bit shy, but he's eager to please, and I'm sure y'all ladies LOVE a man who is eager to please." This earned him a few cheers.

Jaune saw his cue, one of the backup dancers brought a woman upstage, he was dressed in an old Mistralian hunting/explorer outfit, so this was his cue. Well, it was now or never.

Jaune jumped out of the shadows, his muscles glistening from the baby oil they rubbed on him before hand, his body completely hairless, because according to Amarillo, ladies didn't want to see a hairy ass crack, so now he was completely hairless except for a bit of stubble and his hair. He grabbed the neck of the poacher, and he threw him off stage. And that was when the music started to play.

" _Welcome to the jungle! We got fun and games!"_ The music started as Jaune hesitated, but then he picked up the woman.

Her face had a blush, but she was still stern. Yep, Jaune was going to have to bring a smile to her face. He blushed a bit as he realized what he had to do. But he swallowed his pride and realized that he was a stripper now, which meant he had to put on a good show.

He flipped her up into his arms, her legs wrapping around his waist as he put her down in a chair, and even though he was still embarassed, he started gyrating his hips right above her pelvis while grabbing her handsand placing them on his pectoral muscles. Her face twitching as he felt her hands squeeze gently, almost as if she was tying to get a good feel in before she started to squeeze more.

"WWOOOOO!" A woman screamed as he felt something being stuffed into the back of his loincloth.

"Me Tarzan, you Jane." He growled into her ear as he felt her shiver.

He kicked the chair out from underneath her as he picked her up and swung her around and grabbed onto a vine that was hanging from the ceiling. This was where he really had to sell the show. He pulled her close to his chest, her arms wrapping aroun his torso as he felt her hook his leg onto his, he smirked as he realized he got her. And that was when he took a jump off stage, which sent him into the crowd.

"OH MY GOD! LOOK AT THAT!" A woman yelled as she could see the outline of his junk underneath the loincloth he was wearing. He blushed a bit as he realized what she just saw.

"I WANT HIS BABY!" Another person yelled as the woman he was stripping for now had a huge smile on her face as she gripped his body tight, he swung back to the stage as he laid her down on the gound.

Her hair had fallen out of its bun and splayed across the floor, he was on his hands and knees on top of her, and he started thrusting his pelvis close to her body, not exactly dry humping, but it was close enough that this woman was definitely having a good time. He rubbed his chest against hers, the body to body contact becoming more prominent as he got more and more confident. He started moving backwards, his head going lower and lower, as she started to get more and more flustered as his face was now positioned over her womanhood.

He then grabbed onto her waist and flung her into the air, her legs wrapping around the back of his neck as she blushed at where his face was, Jaune meanwhile was trying to resist the oncomign nosebleed, after all, this woman was wearing all white, he didn't want to piss her off. He could hear her moaning a bit due to the contact, he then thrusted his shoulders up as she was launched slightly off his shoulders and into his arms bridal style.

"Just dropping in?" He asked as the woman was blushing and nodded.

"Alright! Looks like our new dancer did pretty good for his first time here! What do ya'll ladies think?" Amarillo said as Jaune heard a scream.

"I WANT HIM INSIDE ME!" A woman yelled as Jaune blushed.

"Alright! Well guess what, now we got Vanilla coming up for you! So why don't we give a big round of applause to Joyful Jaune over here!" The crowd responded by throwing singles and five lien bils onto the stage.

The woman he just gave the dance for stuffed something down the front of his loincloth.

"There's a little something extra for you…." She said as Jaune smiled.

"Thank you….." He still felt a bit awkward.

"You seem a little young to be here." She pointed out.

"Yeah…I'm just doing this to pay for my apartment and for schooling…" Wow that sounded weird.

"Seems to be a common theme amongst strippers…" She said as she started to walk away.

He looked into his loincloth, only for his eyes to widen in shock.

That lady put a 500 lien bill in there!

"Where are you going?" He asked as he saw her walk away.

"I was here for a vacation, my day to day life is...quite stressful..." She turned to leave.

"Hey! What's your name?" He asked as she smirked.

"Willow….Willow Schnee…." She said as she disappeared.

"Schnee...Schnee...Oh no..." Jaune's face went pale.

"Did I just give a lap dance to Weiss's mom?"


	3. Party and 2nd routine

**Hey guys, so I've been getting messages about why I haven't been updating my stories as much, specifically how I haven't been updating Endless possibilities, well, because I've had a huge bit of writers block with the Macross frontier chapter and Jojo chapter, so I've had to put those chapters on hiatus, and I have also had writers block with the chapter I'm currently writing with it.**

 **But I do make a point that everytime I work on Out of Place, Out of Time or this, I write a bit of Endless possibilities, so I'm working on it, its just been a slow process.**

 **Second, I have also started the enlistment process for the United States Army, so if all goes well, I'll be off to boot camp soon, so I won't be writing as often.**

 **Anyways, here is the next chapter.**

* * *

"Damn man! You killed it out there!" Amarillo was praising Jaune as Jaune was currently pulling out bills from his loincloth.

"Dude…that's 800 bucks, I made 500 from the…Schnee…." He was still embarrassed at that, on the other hand, Weiss's mom was pretty hot.

"Shit man, that's more than I made my first night, them ladies must love you!" Vanilla Cream said as he was currently counting out his singles.

"And I made 300 in singles and fives, damn, do women really love these kind of shows that much?" Jaune couldn't believe what was happening.

He was still embarrassed over what he just had to do to make money, but that was 800 bucks he just made, when he was working part time he didn't make nearly that much in a week, and yet look at how much he made just from being a naked dancer! As much as he hated to admit it, he could used to this. Now if only he didn't feel guilty about showing his junk to a bunch of women.

"Hey man, women will literally pay you to pretend to do them doggy style, some women just want a good time without the consequences, especially since they may not be getting any at home or in their day to day lives. Women love sex as much as men, and its our job to provide them an alternative." Sapphire said as he pulled a single out of his ass crack.

"Oum, I hate it when they get stuck up there." He said with a grimace, some women really tried to dig themselves in when they were stuffing bills in.

"Anyways, we're open every night, so if you can haul them in like that each time, you may be able to start your own franchise bro!" Maroon said as he was changing into his regular clothes.

"I just need enough to pay for my rent, food, and hopefully a new trainer." He said as they laughed.

"Dude, with the money you pull in, you'll be able to afford your own house soon! Seriously dude, what did you do to that rich woman?" Amarillo asked as Jaune shrugged.

"I don't know, she said she was here on vacation, said her day to day life was…stressful." Suddenly Amarillo mad an 'Ah' motion.

"Ahhh, I see what's happening here, word on the street is that Jacque's Schnee is a bit….small under the sheets, must be a rather unhappy marriage." Jaune recoiled at that.

One, how the hell did that rumor get started? And two, he didn't want to know about Weiss's parents. Oum knows what Weiss would do to him if she found out that he paraded his dick around her mother. How could it get any worse? He was already on thin ice with her because of the flirting. Who knows what would happen if she caught him grinding his ass on her mother's lap.

"Well….at least she paid well." Jaune said as he got ready to go home.

"Remember Jaune, we have another show tomorrow at 9, make sure to be here!" Amarillo said as Jaune nodded and walked out the door.

"Phew, well good thing I won't have to worry about Weiss's sister, according to her she's…what she doing again?" Jaune thought back to it.

" _I can't believe my sister is dating some crazy bald redneck!"_ Nah, that couldn't be it could it?

He was sure he just heard her wrong. Come on, why would someone from the Schnee family date a redneck? Eh, it was none of his business, anyways, he had better things to worry about.

Jaune stopped by and picked up some more groceries on the way home. Luckily it was a short walk to his place and he was feeling pretty generous. He whistled a tune as he came up to his house.

"Ah, here we go, home sweet ho-" He opened the door to find something unexpected.

"SURPRISE!" Team RWBY and NPR jumped out and scared him.

"AAHHH!" He yelled as his groceries were flying.

Luckily Ruby and Pyrrha caught the bags before anything bad happened.

"I'm sorry!" She yelled as she saved his bags.

"You guys nearly gave me a heart attack!" Great, he was glad to see them, but he just came from work.

"Phew Vomit boy, you smell like sweat! Must have been hard working with that giant snake all night huh?" Jaune blushed a bit as he realized she wasn't talking about his dick.

"Er, yeah, it got super hard." Wow, really Jaune? That was the best you could do.

"Was anyone else there to help? The one guy in the background just seemed to marvel at how huge it was." Ruby pointed out as Jaune had to resist the urge to crack up laughing.

"I guess he was impressed…he had never seen one that big before." Jaune kind of felt like puffing his chest out in pride.

"Why didn't you just stroke it to calm it down?" Blake was certain she had read that you could calm a snake down by stroking it.

"It was more like I was just trying to keep it contained, I mean…you don't want it to slip from your fingers…" Damn it, how many more of these quips could he make?

"Anyways, enough about Jaune and his huge snake! We came to surprise you! Figured a house warming party would be fun!" Yang said as they had snacks.

"Awww, you guys really shouldn't have." He said as he walked over and picked up a buffalo wing.

He hadn't eaten all night, and all the dancing he did on stage had really made him hungry. He would have stripped then and there, the problem was he was still wearing his stripper outfit underneath his clothes, and there was no way he was going to give them a free show.

"Odd…." Weiss said as she looked at her phone.

"What?" Blake asked wondering what was up with Ice Queen.

"My mother just called, said she was in town and wanted to talk." Jaune blushed a bit at the mention of her mother.

"Oh, maybe she just wanted to hear how you were doing?" He suggested as Weiss looked confused.

"It's not that, she sounded….giddy almost, like she was in a really good mood." That was unusual for Weiss who knew her mother was not the happiest person in the Schnee household.

"Uhm, maybe its been a good day?" Jaune knew why Weiss's mother was in a good mood, and he didn't want to reveal why.

They all sat down with their snacks and put a movie on as Pyrrha sat next to Jaune.

"So…find anyone to train you yet?" She asked as he shook his head.

"Nope, not during the weekdays, by the way, are you sure that you're okay with training with me on the weekends? I don't want to feel like you're wasting your free time with me…" He did kind of feel bad about asking for Pyrrha's help on a day of rest.

She gave him a reassuring smile, the one that really made him feel better no matter what kind of mood he was in.

"It's okay, I'm looking forward to it! Besides, it will be nice to catch up…Beacon gets kind of boring without you there…" Okay, she blushed a bit after saying that.

"Awww, thanks partner!" He said as he patted her head like a child.

She deflated a bit at that, but smiled never the less. After all, it was still a form of physical affection.

"So, do you enjoy your job as a zookeeper?" Nora asked as she was honestly curious.

"Well….you know….takes a lot of effort, I get really sweaty, and sometimes you just want the day to be over, but its honest work…" He said as Nora beamed.

"We'll visit you some time!" Oh no, Jaune was going into a panic.

"NO!" He yelled out in shock as everyone stared at him.

"Er, I mean, not right away! I only just started! And if I get distracted…uhm….a monkey might catch me off guard and fling crap at me!" He said as everyone looked at him like he was stupid.

"….I think you've been watching too many comedy routines." Weiss had never seen a monkey throw poop at someone.

"That and wouldn't it be better if you waited until I could get an employee discount so you could visit for cheap? After all, you still have to pay for your own tickets!" That sounded reasonable.

"Hmm, good point, I do like the zoo, but they charge you a lot…" Nora sat back down and started to eat her pancakes.

Phew, Jaune really dodged a bullet there, he took a bite out of the wing, that is before Nora noticed he was still wearing his trench coat.

"Aren't you hot in that?" She asked as Jaune suddenly cursed under his breath.

"Er, yeah, sorry." He immediately ran to his room to change out of the stripper clothes.

He came back in a regular t shirt and jeans.

"Hmm, weird, you do have some muscles under that hoodie." Yang pointed out as she had never really seen Juane without his hoodie or without his uniform.

"Er yeah, well, got to keep in shape if I want to take that registration exam." He said as Weiss scoffed a bit at that.

"That is if they let you take it when they realize you forged your way in." Okay, that stung a bit, but he could see where she was coming from.

"If they turn down a promising applicant after he has shown he's physically capable, It would be foolish of them." Jaune pointed out as he took another bite of the wing.

Seriously? THIS was the girl he was pining over in Beacon? Man, imagine what would happen if she found out that he gave her mom a lap dance.

 **MEANWHILE**

"Mother, why are you calling me?" Winter was pinching the bridge of her nose in annoyance.

She still loved her mother despite the fact that she could be a miserable drunk. And she often wished that her mother would get over her alcoholism. But now that she was sober, she was extremely chatty and annoying. And Winter had just had a long day at work.

" _I'm telling you sweetie! Go to the Cockpit Club in Vale! Its worth it!" A_ nd now Winter had to deal with the disturbing fact that her mother had visited a male strip club.

"Mother, I am not going to an adult entertainment center…" The grunts were currently trying not to laugh as the acoustics in the room caused the conversation to be amplified.

" _Oh come on! It could do you some good to get some solid dick! You always have that stick up your ass!"_ Annnnd, there was that.

"MOTHER! I do not see the need to throw myself at scantily clad men!" Why was this happening?

" _Bah! Come on Winny, its just one time, there is this one dancer there who can make you feel as giddy as a kid in a candy shop!"_ The grunts were really STRUGGLING to not laugh.

"…Why are you doing this?" Why was this happening to Winter.

" _We both live pretty stressful lives, and it would be nice to do something completely crazy!"_

"We're supposed to maintain an air of dignity!"

" _Doesn't mean we can't have fun! Besides, screw the air of dignity, I had to put up with that for over twenty years by marrying a man with a large bank account and small dick!"_ Some of the soldiers burst out laughing.

It was then that Winter realized they had heard her entire conversation.

"….Goodbye." She hung up the scroll.

"IF any of you tell anyone about this, you'll be cleaning the latrines with your tongues for a month."

 **THE NEXT NIGHT**

"Why am I wearing this?" Jaune asked as he was dressed like a spartan warrior from 300.

"Come on dude, who doesn't love the Spartans, I'm not even gay and I would suck a Spartan's dick." Vanilla said as Jaune sighed.

"Well, who is my target?" He asked as they pointed to a woman in the crowd.

"Her, now go and get her champ." Jaune sighed as he knew what to do.

The stage was slicked up so that he could easily slide on his knees, or in this case knee bracers, he got a running start and dropped to his knees. The resulting velocity catapulted him to the woman in question. His face stopped right in front of hers, his muscles glistening from the baby oil as she was caught off guard.

" _SPARTANS! PREPARE FOR GLORY!"_ Rang out over the speakers as Jaune pulled her onto the stage.

She was a bit caught off guard because of how…rough he was with pulling her out of her seat. She just came here because her friend was a bit nervous about coming to a strip club by herself. So she volunteered to bring her here. Her husband was okay with it, mostly because he knew that his wife wasn't going there for herself. But she had to admit, the scenery was rather nice. Man, this was going to be weird. She couldn't see the man's face due to the helmet, but damn did he look ferocious. She felt herself being laid on the stage while he stood up, spreading his arms out, his cape billowing in the wind, which in reality was just the air conditioning. But the music combined with the fake scars on his body only brought forth a tingly sensation in her legs.

He grabbed her by the torso and lifted her up in the air. She stiffened up like a board as he was now holding her like he was Patrick swayze and this was dirty dancing. Next thing she knew was that she was up against a wall, his body grinding against hers, she blushed a bit at the contact, and she even got a few quick squeezes of his muscles, mostly his biceps and his back. This guy must have taken his training really seriously.

RIP!

Suddenly the cape was gone, revealing he was only wearing the leather speedo, boots and a leather strap across his chest and back. He threw her to the ground, but not so hard as to hurt her, but firm enough to know that HE was in charge. He pinned her arms to the ground as he started dry humping her. Now this was embarassing for him, even though he knew that this was bound to happen sometime. Amarillo told him that he would get used to it, but right now he was just embarassed and wanted to get it over with.

"THAT IS SO HOT!" A random pervert yelled from the crowd as Jaune continued to grind on the woman.

She was now covering her face as she was blushing like crazy. She couldn't believe this was where she ended up. She looked into the eyes of the man behind the helmet, she could tell he was clean shaven, kind of like a roman legionnaire, but his eyes were his most defining feature, those striking blue eyes were just breathtaking to look into. And she just blushed even more as she just let it happen.

And suddenly, it was all over, and she saw the man getting showered with singles and fives. She blushed and got off the stage and towards her friend.

"Alright alright alright! Lets give it up for Leonidas over here!" Amarillo said as the woman went back to sit with her friend.

"How was it?!" Her friend said as the woman just blushed.

"It was….interesting."

"Come on! Lighten up!"

"I'm sorry its just….its a little weird being in here."

"Come on, relax! No one is going to recognize you here!"

"That's not it, its just….so many….abs…"

"Oh? So you're a pervert like the rest of us."

"I may be a pervert, but at least my husband helps me in that regard."

"Ha! So why are you in Vale again?"

"Visiting my daughter."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because one, you needed a friend because you were too shy, and nobody would think to look for Andromeda Nikos in a strip club."


	4. Phantom of the Strip Club

**Okay, so here we go, I needed to get this out of the way. As for my enlistment in the army, well, still in the works, my medical records still have not been released to my recruiter, so I need to ask for them again and then when I finally turn them in, that begins the waiver process. Which could take anywhere from a week to a month.**

 **I'm kind of getting anxious to know what happens.**

 **Anyways, on another note, to MizoreShirayukiFan, don't worry, this won't become a story where Jaune is a Milf Hunter. This is still Arkos, but Milf's are fun to mess around with.**

* * *

"Man what a day at work." Jaune said as he was coming home in his trench coat again.

Unfortunately his pants and shirt had been stolen by a rabid horny woman. So he had to go home in a leather coat. In other words, he was hot, sweaty, and his balls felt like they were going to shrivel up and die.

"Oh thank god! My house!" He said as he ran up to it.

"Finally I can get out of this damn thing!" He said as he opened the door and immediately stripped off the coat.

"Uh! Thank God! That coat was tor-" His eyes went wide as he suddenly realized he was not alone.

He saw Pyrrha standing there with her mouth covered and a face that was getting redder and redder as she saw Jaune was nearly naked in a pair of boxer briefs. She ran off to the bathroom really quick as Jaune suddenly threw the coat back in front of him.

"Wow….so this is the young man you were telling me about?" Another voice said as he turned to the kitchen.

Only for his face to go pale as he recognized the face there. The pale skin, the deep red hair, and even the eyes, oh shit…that was the woman from the club! And now…wait a minute. Red hair, green eyes…oh shit! THAT WAS PYRRHA'S MOM!

"Are you alright there Mr. Jaune?" Pyrrha's mom asked as Jaune ran off to his bedroom.

"Sorry! Got to change!" He ran off and slammed the door.

"Tee hee, oh these two kids, I can see why Pyrrha has a thing for him." For some odd reason she couldn't help but feel like she had met Jaune before.

Oh well, it was probably nothing.

Jaune got in the shower for a quick minute and then changed into a decent set of cloths, only to come out and see that Pyrrha was still blushing deeply as her mother was giggling to herself.

"So uhm, what…how…what are you doing here?" Jaune asked as Pyrrha stood up.

"Jaune! What happened to your clothes?! Did someone hurt you?" Jaune was confused, why would she?

Oh god…she thought someone raped him and stole his clothes.

"Er! No! It was an accident at work!" That got her mother's attention.

"An accident at work?" What kind of work could result in losing clothes?

"Yeah, you see, I was cleaning out some of the pens, and a giant cat attacked me! Viscious Tiger! Tore my clothes off!" He couldn't believe he was making a story up about a giant pussy.

"Must have been one viscous little pussy to rip your clothes off." Mama Nikos was honestly surprised he didn't have a scratch on him.

"Yeah, luckily it didn't hurt me, but yeah, so I had to run home in a long leather coat." Pyrrha went red again at the imagery.

Oh what she would do to get her hands on those surprisingly thick thighs. No! Bad Pyrrha! Seriously, her mother called her to let her know she was in town and wanted to see her. So of course Pyrrha was happy to spend some time with her, but she also wanted to introduce her to Jaune. After all, Pyrrha had written all about him in her letters. So naturally Mama Nikos wanted to meet the young boy who so painfully obvious had her daughter's heart.

She had to admit, her daughter did have good taste, that boy had some muscle that if she was twenty years younger she would…..give him a hug. She remembered she was faithful to her husband who had a really nice body and even better personality.

It was a miracle they only had one child with the way they had sex. Especially now that Pyrrha was out of the house, ALL DAY EVERY DAY!

"That explains why you were all hot and sweaty." Pyrrha said as she was still trying to stop those images from coming back every few seconds.

"So uh, how did you get in here?" He asked as Pyrrha held up a fake rock.

"You do realize you forgot to put the fake rock amongst your rock garden right?" She asked as she held up the key.

"Oh…yeah…wait…you broke into my house?" Jaune teased as Pyrrha went pale.

"W-WHAT! NO! WE DIDN'T!" She started to defend herself as Jaune chuckled.

"Relax, you're welcome to come at any time, just give me some heads up so we…avoid future awkward moments." They both blushed as they looked away.

" _Oh Son, I bet you she's going to want as many of those awkward moments as she can get."_ Andromeda knew her daughter.

She may be very nice and polite, but she was still a developing young woman with raging hormones, which meant she was just as weak against the visage of a nice tight male body as any other woman. It didn't help that she used to share a dorm with Jaune, and couldn't relieve herself of her...frustrations.

Seriously, you take a bunch of athletic hormonal teenagers, put them in Co ed dorms and expect there to not be physical attraction? She was starting to wonder if the people in charge of picking teams were sadists.

"So can I get you anything to drink? Eat?" He said as they both smiled.

"Just Tea please for the both of us." She asked politely as Jaune nodded and went over to the kitchen.

"This is a really nice place you got here Mr. Arc." Andromeda was actually impressed with the house.

"Yeah, I got a nice deal on it." He didn't need to tell them how nobody wanted to buy it due to the last owners being murdered in it.

"Your job pay decent?" She asked as Jaune didn't realize he was being interrogated.

"Decent enough to pay for the house and for a trainer once I find one." Mama Nikos nodded her head in approval.

"And what about my daughter?" She asked as Pyrrha looked at her mother in horror.

"She's my best friend." Jaune said as he brought over the cups of tea.

" _Oh thank Oum…wait…Best friend? Oh damn, he did NOT just friendzone me!"_ Pyrrha didn't know whether to be happy or sad.

" _Damn, I'm never going to get grandchildren at this rate."_ Mama Nikos knew she needed to start plotting to get her daughter and her crush together.

She may have not liked the fact that Jaune had forged his way into Beacon, but he seemed like a nice boy, and his attitude was actually refreshing, he actually did want to be a huntsman unlike the kids who sign up because their parents made them. So while his methods may have been wrong, she couldn't argue with his motives. Granted the wanting to be a hero bit was childish, but his heart was in the right place.

So, she approved of Jaune dating her daughter, now all she had to do was get the two of them alone in a room with a powerful aphrodisiac and next thing you know , Grandbabies away! She honestly missed having a child in the house. Her husband and her were sexually active, but his pull out game was too strong. And unlike her, he was okay with having only one perfect child.

But Mama Nikos wanted more! Hence why Pyrrha was her key to getting grandbabies!

And Jaune had blond hair! Oh just imagine! Beautiful green eyed babies with blond hair! It would be perfect.

"Are you okay Mrs. Nikos?" Jaune asked as she was spacing out.

"Please, call me Andromeda." She said as Jaune tried to smile.

He could NEVER tell anyone that this was the woman he dry humped on stage back at The Cockpit. Especially Pyrrha! Lord knows what would happen in Pyrrha found out he was a stripper!

Who knows how disgusted she would be if she found him dancing nearly naked! She had to run away just from seeing him in the coat and boxer briefs! Who knows what she would do if she saw him in a thong!

 **The Next Night at The Cockpit**

"So it's a masquerade theme tonight?" Jaune asked as he held up his mask that was a bit like the phantom of the operas.

"Yeah, this is usually for private lap dances, you know for those who feel too embarrassed to go out in the crowd. And would prefer to remain anonymous." Amarillo said as he gave Jaune a cloak and fancy tear a way suit.

"So basically for prudes?" He asked as he had a feeling that prudes wouldn't want to be seen enjoying man meat.

"Eh kind of, either that or really BIG perverts who don't want people to see what happens in a closed off room." Vanilla boy said as he was currently dressed in a gimp suit.

"Dude….what the fuck?" Jaune asked as he didn't see why he was wearing that.

"A…client made a special request, don't worry, this thing comes off." He said pointing to the various zippers.

"I thought you weren't about putting that weird shit out there?" Jaune asked as Vanilla boy seemed way too innocent for this.

"Yeah, but she's paying a lot in advance, so screw it." He said as he needed the extra money.

"So did you find a cover up job?" Amarillo asked as Jaune nodded.

"I'll be working at a comic book store, I'll just say I had to leave the zoo due to the fact I can't keep getting my clothes destroyed by angry tigers." Especially since clothes were expensive these days.

And Jaune couldn't risk his pumpkin petes hoodie.

"Okay, so I'll be away from the crowd, and I won't know who I'm dancing for?" Jaune asked as Sapphire nodded.

"Yeah don't worry, its completely fine, heck if you want you could slap the client in the face with your dick and they would probably get a kick out of it." Sapphire smirked as he had actually done that once.

"….I'm not slapping someone with my penis." Jaune was embarassed that he would suggest that.

"Really dude? Penis? Whats wrong with calling it a cock, dick, woody, or any word, penis sounds like you're a kid who first learned what he has between his legs." Okay, now this conversation was getting creepy.

"Actually with that thing in between your legs, you should call it a leviathan."

"DUDE! What is with your weird obsession with my junk?!"

"…I never said I was completely straight."

"….I don't swing that way bro…"

"Meh, I figured, don't worry I'm just screwing with you."

"Not funny dude."

"You're not a homophobe are you?"

"No! I don't care if you like dudes! I just don't want you touching my dick!"

"Come on! I wasn't going to touch it!"

"Really? Because my first night here you tried to help me into my outfit!"

"…..In my defense I was drunk."

"Just stop talking!"

"Okay fine sheez, we still getting beer after this?"

"I can't drink…"

"Then we'll get you a water or something."

"Okay that's fine."

Jaune finished his conversation with Sapphire, suddenly Sapphire's eccentric behavior towards him made a lot of sense.

 **Back at Beacon**

 **CRRREEEAAAKKKK**

Nora and Ren watched as Pyrrha suddenly bent her spoon slowly back and forth.

"Whats the matter Pyrrha?" Nora asked as Pyrrha looked disturbed for some reason.

"I felt a disturbance…." She didn't know why but she had the feeling something she didn't like was happening.

"Like in the force?" Nora asked as Ren looked at her.

"Nora…what is the force?"

"Oh yeah that's right, you've never seen Star Wars."

Pyrrha couldn't help but feel that there was something wrong, almost like there was someone going after Jaune...Eh it was probably nothing.

 **At the Cockpit**

"Room 69….how appropriate." Jaune said as he was dressed in his phantom of the opera oufit.

 _ **DU DU DU DUUUNNNNNN DU DU DUD DUUUNNNN**_

The phantom of the opera music started playing as Jaune slid into the room, the woman in question wearing a mask with her hair pulled back behind a veil, she was sitting on a chair with her ankles tied to the chair.

 _Sing once again with me…Our strange dueeetttt_

Jaune lightly brushed his hand across the exposed skin on her cheek, he couldn't see much of her face, but he could see that she was a little nervous about this, her eyes looking back into his, almost like she was here as a joke. Jaune knew this was someone who was probably used to taking charge in her normal life, and she needed to really learn to be submissive to another man's power. Especially in this atmosphere.

 _My power over you….grows stronger yeeettttt_

Jane moved closer, lightly placing himself in her lap as he moved his hands up to her cheeks making her look him in his eyes. His hair slicked back and replaced with a black wig, and half of his face being shielded by the phantom mask. Instead of his usual bump and grind routine. He had to be more creative.

This woman seemed to be dressed rather professional, which meant that she was not one for the dry humping. She probably preferred a more sensual dance. Which is why the music playing was perfect, it was melodic and Jaue was dressed in fancy attire for a stripper, it still ripped off of course, but it was a slow process meant to tease, this woman wanted to feel her heart beat quicken almost as if she was being caressed by a new lover.

This woman didn't want to have her face humped, she wanted to be seduced…and Jaune had to do that.

 _And though you turn from me….to Glance behiiinnnddddd_

That was some Jaune suddenly tilted her head up into a sudden moment to look him in the eyes as he pretended to let his voice out, almost as if he was lip syncing to the song.

 _The phaaannnnnttttooom of the opera is there inside your mind_

He could feel the woman's heart beat quicken. Obviously she was enjoying this, Jaune's cape almost seemed to disappear as the sleeves to his dress shirt had been cut off revealing lean muscle mass on his arms. He could see a slight blush from her exposed cheeks, yep, while she wasn't saying anything, she was definitely enjoying this.

Suddenly she found herself released from the bonds around her ankle and swept up in one large motion with the phantom of the strip club holding her bridal style as he slowly set her down on the ground, with their bodies connected at the chest.

Her breathing got heavier as she struggled to contain herself, whoever this man was he must have been a master of seduction. The mask only adding to the illusion of charisma and mystery. Who was he? And how had he captivated her so easily.

Slowly and surely the shirt came off as abs and toned pectorals were revealed, her hands gently carressing the chest of the phantom. Her friends dragged her to this club, but never did she think she would actually be enjoying this. It was intoxicating.

He went to pick her up again, intending to twirl her….

But then it went wrong.

Suddenly his ankle cramped up and they both collapsed to the ground.

"Ah!" He let out a cry of pain as they both fell to the ground.

"Oof…sorry Miss, are you okay?" He asked as he noticed both masks were on the ground.

"I was just fi-' Suddenly they looked at each other.

And their true faces were revealed.

"M-M-M-Miss….." He couldn't get the words out.

"Mr…Mr…..Mr. Arc?" The woman said as Jaune felt like screaming in horror.

He was entertaining Professor Goodwitch….

"AAAHHHHHHHHH!"


	5. SHORT CHAPTER AUTHOR NOTE

**I'm sorry that this chapter is so short, but I needed to get this announcement out of the way.**

 **I went to MEPS, and I was medically DQ, HOWEVER, the doctor said I have a high chance of getting the waiver that would let me serve. The process can take anywhere from two weeks to a month. If I get it, I should be off to basic by August.**

 **So i am going to try and write a chapter for each of my stories before I go.**

 **Again, sorry this chapter is so short. But I just needed to get this out there.**

* * *

"AAA-" Jaune put a hand over Goodwitch's mouth.

"Will you shut up?!" H e said as her eyes trailed down.

"MMPPH MMPPF!" She was getting pissed off and struggling.

"Look! Just calm down and let me explain!" He said as he took his hand off of her mouth.

"EXPLAIN?! One of my former students is giving me a lap dance!" She yelled as Jaune narrowed his eyes.

"Hey! You came to MY workplace, don't try and pin this on me!"

"I HAD NO INTENTION OF COMING HERE!"

"Uh huh, sure, that's why you specifically asked for a private booth so your friends wouldn't see you enjoying yourself." Jaune had read the details of this contract before he came in.

Apparently Goodwitch had come in with friends, but she didn't want people to see her in public at a strip club, so she booked herself a private room so she could enjoy her lap dance in peace. While it was weird to learn that his client was his former professor, he had to admit, he never expected Goodwitch of all people to be a stripper.

"S-Shut up!" Under any other circumstance, Glynda would be the authority figure.

But considering she had nearly shoved her hand down her former student's pants and was practically groping him all over during his dance routine, she had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar which was a humiliating experience for her.

"And you gave that one kid with the playfaunus magazine a hard time! You're an even bigger pervert!" Jaune said accussingly as he knew he had his former professor on the ropes.

Why was he tormenting her like this? Well, because he had a plan formulating, and because he felt the need to get back at her for kicking him out, even ifshe was technically justified.

"I AM NOT!"

"I'm starting to think that you chose the riding crop as a weapon because you have a fetish for it!"

"I DO NOT!"

"Oh really?! Then how do you explain it."

"I-Its used to intimidate students!"

"Oh you like to punish them with it?"

"NO!"

Jaune knew he had her now.

"Just wait til your coworkers find out about this!"

"NO PLEASE!" Goodwitch couldn't let her coworkers find out.

If they did, she could possibly lose her position at beacon, and even if she didn't. She would NEVER hear the end of it from Oobleck and Port who were known to be the most merciless teasers on campus. Even worse, If QROW ever found out.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't?" He asked as he crossed his arms.

"I….I have a contract!"

"Which you are in violation of due to both masks being removed." He said as she panicked.

"Please! I'll do anything!" Jaune smirked…he felt like a bit of an asshole, but he was still mad at Goodwitch.

"Train me."

"What?"  
"You heard me, I need another trainer in my life for when I take the huntsman registration exam, so train me and you're off the hook." He said as she looked away.

"How am I supposed to take time off to-"

"Or I could tell Ozpin right away…."

"…..What times?"

"I get off of work at midnight, and usually wake up early to geta quick start on the day, how does an hour a day at 7 to 8 sound?" Jaune said as Goodwitch thought it over.

"….You won't tell anyone?"

"Not a soul."

"….Very well." Goodwitch figured she could make it to Vale and back to Beacon each day easily.

"Pleasure doing business with you…." He said as he turned to leave.

"Wait…" She said as she grabbed his hand.

"….I still want my money's worth…."

"…..Can we put the mask back on?"

"I would prefer it like that….."

"…..Fine…"

So how about that, Jaune had to end up giving her a lapdance anyway. Granted, that the situation was awkward for both. So Glynda couldn't even enjoy it as much as she wanted to. But then again, it would seem weird if she was to suddenly burst out of the strip club screaming about how she 'molested a student.'

The point was, Jaune was glad that he could handle this situation for now.

"OH my god its huge!"

"NOT NOW!"


	6. (Short) Its Back

**Alright, so this story has been on a long hiatus, I actually looked at the date, I updated this fucking thing two years ago, well, in a month it will have been two years ago. But I mostly had it on Hiatus for basic training, and when I got out of Basic, I didn't know what to do with it. But luckily during my updating streak these past two days. I think I finally have an idea as to where its going.**

 **Although truth be told, lets see how many people even remember this story.**

* * *

If you were to tell Jaune a few months ago that Professor Goodwitch would be paying him to hump her face on stage while she stuffed dollar bills in his banana hammock, and she would still be teaching him advanced combat maneuvers, he would think you were writing some fucked up high school teacher student porno.

And yet that was practically what happened.

Right now he was at the beach with Pyrrha and his friends. And well, they were taking notes of his physique.

"Wow Jaune, you really bulked up and leaned out! What kind of training you been doing?" Ruby asked as she was surprised at the muscles.

"Uh, again, been working more in the snake pit at the zoo."

"Oh yeah, I forgot, must be tough taking care of snakes that big." Goddam It Yang.

"Hey, how come we don't get to visit you at the zoo?" Nora asked as they still hadn't been there.

"I still got some time before I can get the friends and family discount Nora, sorry."

"Awwww." She really wanted that discount.

Meanwhile, Jaune actually DID take up a day job part time at the Zoo because he needed to do something to keep up apperances. He was lucky that they hadn't been in his house when he was in a fireman costume or a plumber costume. That would have been hard to explain.

Hey guys, oh I'm not a pornstar, but I also dry hump legs for money on stage. Yeah that would not go over well with any of them.

"Heeeeyy Jaune!" Sapphire said as they found him.

"Oh hey guys!" He put on a smile, but in reality, he was wondering why they were there.

"Why didn't you tell us you were here today bro?" Snow asked as he gave him a hug.

"Jaune, who are these guys?" Yang purred as she saw Sapphire's abs.

"Oh, they work with me at the zoo!" He said as Maroon raised an eyebrow.

"Zoo? Bro we work at the-" Jaune looked at him and mouthed.

" _THEY DON'T FUCKING KNOW!"_ He caught on and went.

"Oh yeah, just we work at the aquarium portion, while he works with the land animals." They all caught on to Jaune's scheme.

"Well its nice to meet some new friends of Jaune! I was worried he would never make any new friends." Yang joked as Ruby stood in front of her best friend.

"He was my bestie first!" Ruby said as Jaune chuckled and patted her on the head.

"Relax, Ruby, they're cool." He said as Nora was suspicious.

She saw how Jaune mouthed the 'They don't fucking know.' And she noticed all his friends were in way too good of shape to be zookeepers and aqaurium workers. Something was suspicious here. Despite her bubbly personality, Nora was not an idiot, she knew something was suspicious about Jaune right now. After all, she did some checking, the friends and family discount at the zoo doesn't take that long to get, you get it after three weeks of working part time. So why didn't Jaune want them to come visit him at the zoo? Unless…he didn't actually work at the zoo?!

What if…..Jaune had found work as a hitman? Or a drug dealer?! Or worse, A TAX COLLECTOR!

Nora would keep up the façade of being clueless, but she was going to get to the bottom of this!

 **At Beacon break room**

"Have any of you noticed Goodwitch's change in behavior?" Port asked his co workers.

"You mean after the night she came back from Vale?" Professor Peach had noticed that.

They had all been chilling out having a movie night in the teachers lounge with good food and drinks, when Goodwitch came in, muttered a few quick somethings, got some of her teaching materials, and walked out fo the room as quick as she came in.

"Not only that, but she also leaves to go to Vale early in the morning, her class doesn't start til later in the afternoon, but I find it odd, What could be in Vale that she goes there early each morning?" Oobleck noticed that.

"And the fact she never mentions any of it to any of us, it doesn't do anything to put our minds at ease." Port said as they all thought it through.

"But she hasn't necessarilly been acting panicky or in a bad mood if something suspicious was going on, in fact she seemed rather relaxed, and based on the sense of smell, she even seemed slightly aroused the first time she came home." Both Oobleck and Ports necks snapped to Professor Peach when she said that.

"What? Bart, don't tell me you forgot Faunus have a heightened sense of smell for the chemicals released by humans when mateing?" She said pointed to her nose.

"Professor, I did not forget, I just find it odd that you were paying that much attention."

"Oh I wasn't, she passed by me as she was walking out the door, not only did she smell like she was a cat in heat, but she also smelled of some expensive cologne and there was even the trace of male pheremones on her." At this Oobleck spit out his coffee.

"Are you suggesting….Miss Goodwitch is…..seeing someone?" Port asked as he couldn't believe it.

"Possibly, but unlikely, what are the odds she found someone to deal with her no nonsense attitude? I mean, I love her, but she can be a ballbreaker." Professor Peach did like her fellow professor and friend, but damn Goodwitch could be a Coldbitch sometimes.

"Well, its not our business what happens in her personal time." Port said as he and Bart sipped his coffee.

Bart tapped his foot against the ground anxiously.

Professor Peach played with her tail.

And Professor Port just sat there twirling the hairs of his mustache in curiousity.

"I am DYING to see if she actually has a boyfriend." Peach finally broke the silence.

"SAME!" Oobleck needed to know if she had actually found someone to put up with her shit.

"Oum Dammit. Alas, I am curious as well." Port said as he couldn't believe they were about to do this.

But Operation Stalk Goodwitch was in effect.


End file.
